Guest post by: Aimee Halpin
I have been told I am good at listening to my friends. I always “hear” what they don’t say, even if it is just a status update on Facebook. I believe that no matter what, friends should be able to say what they mean to a true friend even if it hurts just a little. I won’t say that I don’t get my feelings hurt, because I do, but I need honesty in my life. If your friend has the ability to admit when he/she is wrong, that is a plus.
I won’t say that I don’t get my feelings hurt, because I do, but I need honesty in my life.
If your friend has the ability to admit when he/she is wrong, that is a plus.
Humility is an important quality to have. That being said, please don’t hold a grudge if you haven’t ever told your friend what is wrong in the first place. As cool as it might be, I don’t have mind reading abilities…yet.
For those of you wondering if I am talking about anyone in particular, the answer is no, but don’t you think being vague on Facebook is more detrimental than the truth?
We now have the ability to post on Facebook in a roundabout way something that we clearly could have said to the person. <<< That my friends, is mean and childish.
Using the status posts, the new FB Lives or anything else like that to talk about a friend is actually worse than gossip. You are doing your friend a disservice by thinking that telling the world is better than telling him or her.
If you ever start to experience a rough patch with a friend, grab a journal and write down what you are feeling so you can think about what might be going on.
Are you returning calls in a timely manner? Do you have a new job or person in your life that might make them feel left out? Do they have some health issues they are not sharing?
I once got over a huge bump in the road with one of my dearest friends, and I’ll never forget the day she told me what was bothering her. It wasn’t something I had any control over at all, but she had held it in for so long, it was a relief when she got it out. Just remember, what you don’t say could actually be hurting your friendship, so go ahead and get it out.
3 Steps to honesty in your friendship:
- Figure out why you want to hide the truth. The lie we tell ourselves might make us look better, but are you really helping the situation by hiding things?
- Sometimes people lie or hide the truth to avoid embarrassment. Again, that has nothing to do with you, but if you pick up on vibes easily, you might wonder why your friend keeps telling you that he or she is “busy” every single time you ask them to do something.
- We hide the truth because we are jealous or have been comparing ourselves to other people. This was one place that surprised me about a friend years ago. The good news is, I had finally had enough and after our talk, we have never looked back. It was time to talk about 30 years of friendship and that was worth more to me than pride.
Want to know more about creating meaning female friendships? <<< Read more there.
“Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.” ~Thomas Jefferson
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